Confessions of a Justified Sinner

It's almost 2:00 in the AM and I am still up. Why in hell can I not just go to bed? I came home from work, all worn out and exhausted, decided not to watch a movie with Tank and the Atheist, on the grounds that I am too tired, and I stay up, Fucking around with run on sentences and the computer. I know full well that I am going to wake up at 6:00 with my beautiful wife and kiss her goodbye, sleep for maybe 2 more hours and then get too bored and see what else is happening. It's almost as if I am afraid to sleep. Afraid of what I will miss. And so, instead of going to bed I am going to pour myself another bourbon and read some more of Teddy Roosevelt's Biography.

There is some good news. Next Tuesday, at 9:00pm, I have an appointment to go to NBC studios and meet with Mr. Fritz Coleman. This man has offered to help me with my career and introduce me to others in the business (isn't it funny that actors call movies "the business," it's kinda like it's prostitution) and see if he can give me guidance for my next step.

Some time I think that Don Quixote had it easy, he only tilted at windmills, I tilt at the whole world.

My spelling is bad...I know. But in an act of desperation tonight, after drinking a bottle of bourbon, I mixed some left over baked beans with some left over KFC gravy and ate it cold. Truly this was horrible, but I think this is the current equivalent to human suffering that I can truly acchieve. The fact of the matter is I don't really care about anybody or anything. I may just embrace nihlism as a credo and say fuck you to the world. That is all.............. !